Honor your parents

Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you. - Exodus 20:12

This is certainly a difficult thing to do for me with regards to my father.  Hopefully I do honor my mother and am grateful for the difficult things she had to do as a single mom just to get us through high school and out of the house. 

I know that when I was in the 10th grade her moving us to Arizona from her lifelong home in Mississippi was a very difficult thing for her to do.  When I asked her why we were moving she said that she just wanted to be able to not have to borrow money from her mom each month to make it and survive.  Turns out she was having to borrow around $200 a month just to pay bills.  My cousin Joe's dad and I had asked if I could stay in MS and live with them and not move.  She said no; the family has to stay together.  I'm sure that was tough for her and I know she cried herself to sleep more than a few nights before we moved.

It's memories like that of my mom that make this "honor your father" thing so hard to do.  He left her when my sister was 6, I was 2, and my brother was 1.  Both of my parents were working as teachers at the time. ...  My dad told my brother and me once when I was in the 4th grade that we could leave and he didn't care if we ever came back.  We didn't.  ...  I needed running shoes for track when I was in 6th grade so I asked my mom if we could get some.  She said she didn't have  the money for them, but I might could call my dad and ask.  So, I did.  Two days later there was a pair of shoes stuffed in our mailbox.  He didn't bother to pick me up, take me to a shoe store and let me try some on and pick a pair.  He just went and bought a pair and stuffed them in the mailbox.  ...  He never once attended a football, basketball, baseball, or track game or meet in my life for myself, my brother or sister.  He lived less than 5 miles from all the events. 

As a kid, what do you do with memories like these?  How do you pick up your pieces, glue yourself back together and honor your father?  I would love to be able to settle it by saying "I don't care", but as Andy Stanley points out, we were made to care and we can't not care no matter how we try to fool our self.  Going back to yesterday's devotion, my job is to set the table, prepare the table, and send him an invitation "in spite of" who he is for Christ sake.  Then it's up to love to conquer all.  Is that honoring my earthly father?  I'm not sure, but I am sure it honors my Heavenly Father.