Feb 20

2 Peter 3: ⁹ The Lord does not delay and is not tardy or slow about what He promises, according to some people’s conception of slowness, but He is long-suffering (extraordinarily patient) toward you, not desiring that any should perish, but that all should turn to repentance. (AMP)

 

Grumpy.  Really grumpy and I'm not sure exactly why.  I could blame it on countless frustrations at work or drama at church or the fact that the stupid little dog chewed yet another hole in my couch, but that really doesn't explain my internal rage.  I'm just really inexplicably mad at the world right now.  I could quite easily take the stupid little dog out in the backyard and shoot her and that's just not me. 

 

Praise God that He is steady and unchanging.  He is slow to anger and doesn't desire to "take anyone in the backyard and shoot them."  My own anger shows how broken, fallen, and unlike God I am.  I'm thankful that God doesn't have the same attitude about me that I have about everything right now. 

 

It's not clear to me why I'm so grumpy, but I know the source of joy, contentment, and fulfillment is God.  I know at least in my head that when I'm out of sorts, I need to draw closer to God.  My rage, however, wants to simply lash out in anger at everything and everyone that is on my nerves.  I know God doesn't condone that behavior and am thankful that I'm returning to the habit of daily devotions.  Perhaps just beating the snot out of the keyboard this morning as I pour out this confession will somehow begin the breaking of this negative attitude.  It's clear that I need to yield more completely to a Holy and loving God. 

 

Lord my attitude today reveals that I am not who you need me to be.  I'm not looking at others with a loving heart.  I'm not anxiously anticipating how you will work in, around, and through me today.  In reality, I don't want you to.  I know that this weekend's Emmaus experience is one I need greatly, but to be honest, I'd rather just stay home and sit and stew in my own negative juices.  From your perspective, I must look like a stupid little dog that isn't worth the powder it would take to blow away.  Forgive me.  Please don't allow me to sit in this cesspool of negativity.  Thank you that in your divine omnipotence, you know I am worth salvaging.