Friday, September 26, 2014

Sabotage

1 Kings 19: 11 The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.
For me, these days are full of earthquakes and powerful winds.  There is so much to do, so many that need my attention and action and SO MANY VOICES SCREAMING!  I feel overwhelmed and it has driven me to my knees.  My evening prayers have become shouts of desperation for character and integrity in spite of the load.  I awaken and great the Lord asking Him to do it, because it's simply too much.  Not that I'm good at prayer, I'm just desperate for assistance, guidance, and wisdom.  God has been faithful, turning several situations around quite miraculously.  I can see where He worked, yet I still can't pinpoint that moment when He spoke.  I don't recall recognizing that God was speaking and I needed to pull my cloak over my face and stand at the mouth of the cave.  Perhaps He didn't need to speak and simply gave me the wisdom and words for the moments. 
I suppose the important thing is that God has worked.  Apparently on at least a couple of occasions He worked in or around or in spite of me - praise Him!  Yet I wonder if my lack of discernment has caused me to miss out on other occasions of hearing His whisper. Perhaps I have a problem and simply can't sort out God's still small voice from the cacophony that engulfs me.  Or perhaps God is simply working and doesn't need to speak in advance.  I'm concerned that in all of the worlds noise I may miss God's direction - a plot by Satan to sabotage my pitiful efforts to stay centered in God's will in every situation of life.  I continue to wrestle with my listening skills. 

1 comment:

Chris said...

As we have gotten older, every decision seemingly carries more and more weight. This seems true in our church, family, and work lives. This is partially because you are now at or near the top of the influence in those areas. With that, is the pressure to be as certain as possible to make the right decisions since they affect so many people. And the only right decision is one that God makes, so hearing and understanding His guidance is critical. Then when you're not sure if you hear it, when you do feel the pressure and it is time to act, causes doubt and frustration. ... At least that's my best description of my understanding of what you are saying.

While I certainly am not in as important positions, I have related to those thoughts before. On what I believe to be a similar vein, my frustration continues to be with my inability to have enough faith to pray to God on someone's behalf and witness their miraculous healing.

My only advice is to work on your faith. Believe and know that if God needs to get your attention to modify your decision He'll make sure He does it. You can count on Him to not forsake you. In the meantime, read His word and trust in His training that He has provided in all of your life.

I would also recommend meeting with the Rev. Dave. I think he would enjoy a personal meeting to get to know you better and to know that at least one member was looking and listening as close as possible for God's instructions.