Mankind is Insane

As I sit and ponder rejection and its consequences upon me in my life, I find my thoughts are confused.  I can't help but see clearly how rejection has had a tremendous impact on my life.  It has injected pain, not the kind you see, but pain inside that hurts, hurts, and hurts again.  I wonder if I had a better understanding from youth of human relationships if I would have been able to handle the pain with greater effect.

Why is it that humans can't forgive one another all the while knowing that we are all imperfect?  In other words, I know that everyone I know is going to hurt me in some way at some time, but I'm not going to forgive all of them for however they hurt me.  That actually sounds like the reasoning of a madman.  God in contrast, also knows that everyone is going to sin against Him, yet He forgives everyone, even though we killed Him when He came to us.  And we who refuse to forgive some of the  people whom we know will hurt us, also refuse to accept the fullness of God's free forgiveness.  Absolutely amazing when you think about it.  All of mankind is insane.  ...  Maybe it is just me.  

Yet, although I just wrote that, I find myself still hurting, still somewhat unconcerned for my Dad who I see as having abandoned me for the most significant years of my life and for others who did things that shouldn't be done to children.  Sometimes it is gone for years and then sometimes it isn't.  It is as though I am haunted.

The understanding that man is sinful and can't help himself does help, as does the acceptance that everyone you know will hurt you at some time or another, but I still find that it doesn't solve my inability to forgive completely and forget completely as God does and instructs me to do.  I think this can only be done by the power of God.  I do not have this power within my sinful self.

I pray as David prayed in Psalms 3, "Arise Lord!  Deliver me, my God!" and in Psalms 4, "Hear me when I call, O God of my righteousness! You have relieved me in my distress; Have mercy on me, and hear my prayer."

For encouragement I find in 2 Samuel 33, "God is my strength and power, and He makes my way perfect." and in Isaiah 40:31, "But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint."  Right now, I like the sound of renewed strength and not being weary.