Thursday, September 18, 2014

Loving Correctly

Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.
With the news regarding Adrian Peterson's discipline tactics dominating the news, I think it essential for Christians to be armed with scripture to address the issue of discipline.  First, I think it essential that everyone understands there are life-and-death consequences of sin.  Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in[a] Christ Jesus our Lord.  I heard the resident shrink, Dr. Ablow, on Fox News yesterday equate spanking with a psychological problem with parents, reasoning that any parent who truly loved their child couldn't possible inflict bodily harm via spanking.  Taking this logic to its full extent then one would have to reason that a loving God could never see anyone in His creation burn in hell.  This is clearly counter to scripture, yet is a pervasive view in today's world.  Scripture warns us that we should actually fear God!  In fact, scripture warns us that prosperity and life on this earth stem from a fear of the Lord:  Deuteronomy 6:24 The Lord commanded us to obey all these decrees and to fear the Lord our God, so that we might always prosper and be kept alive, as is the case today.  Wisdom and knowledge also stem from a fear of God: Proverbs 1:7  The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction. What is it we are to fear?  The consequences of disobedience.  So for me, teaching my kids from a very early age that there are dire consequences associated with sin (disobedience) that cannot be avoided. 
Discipline, when administered in any fashion whether in revoking privileges or spanking, must be followed by loving instruction.  Failure to balance the two is to fail to be Christ-like.  Refer back to Romans 6:23 wherein God didn't even complete His sentence regarding the wages of sin without reminding us that it was He who provided the means to avoid hell.  God dooms those who choose not be accept His free gift of grace, but has provided a way for everyone who chooses to believe in Christ.  So when it comes to discipline, I've always believed that the punishment should be swift and painful, but should be followed (after the significant emotional event is over!) immediately by loving instruction.  Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
I don't know the specifics of the Adrian Peterson case.  I applaud a father who is trying to discipline his child.  If that discipline transcended reasonable application of "the rod," then he should be held accountable for abuse.  I fear, however, that people like Dr. Ablow from Fox News will use this case to continue the assault on spanking as a form of parenting.  For me, failure to properly discipline a child to include proper spanking when warranted is to truly NOT love my child.  I'm thankful that my earthly father truly modeled a Christ-like discipline technique.  When I needed to be reminded of the dire consequences of disobedience, he always marched me to the bathroom, made me bend over the toilet and used a shower brush quite forcefully on my backside.  As it turns out, that LOOOONG march to the bathroom was actually a cool-down period for him to ensure that this was a metered spanking and not a parent abusing a child in a moment of uncontrolled rage.  Bending over the toilet presented (a large in my case) target to ensure the punishment wasn't inflicted in an uncontrolled manner.  Finally, the shower brush with it's flat plastic head, provided plenty of pain without the risk of breaking skin.  Trust me, I learned to fear my earthly father's wrath and I think it kept me from much sin.  In fact, even in my worst "prodigal experiences" my far country wasn't very far at all.  Truly my own experience bears out Proverbs 1:7. 
I've tried to apply these lessons from my own experiences to my own children.  It was always my goal to ensure that my children knew that I loved them unconditionally and that part of that love meant that they needed to fear my wrath.  They needed to know from the outset that there are dire consequences for sin.  I believe I accomplished that to some degree and perhaps it was part of the reason they have believed on and are following Christ today. 
I support corporal punishment as I believe it to be central in scripture.  Where do you stand?

1 comment:

Chris said...

Well done. I am constantly amazed at how any media event becomes an assault on Christianity. Somehow the event and the assault become the same story, not just the event of a person.