Apr 2

Romans 7: I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. (Romans 7:15 NIV)

I hope I'm the only one who can identify with Paul on this one, but this happens to me all the time. Last night I had a pizza.  I should have ordered the salad and quit, but no I had to have the pizza.  I could have quit after two or three pieces, but no I wasn't miserably stuffed so I ate the whole thing.  Maybe it was the fact that I'm out of town and can relax my diet a little, or that I'm with a bunch of hearty eating men, or maybe...well I could go on with the excuses, but they really aren't the true reason why "I do what I do not want to do and what I hate, I do!"
The real reason is that I take my focus off Christ. Recall the story of Jesus walking on water from Matthew 14: “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” (Matthew 14:28-30 NIV). When Peter had his focus on the storm, he was afraid.  When he saw Jesus and focused on him, he could move his personal mountain (fear) and perform the miracle of walking on water.  When he lost his focus on Christ and returned it to the wind and waves, he began to sink.  I'm so glued the story didn't end with Peter's 9-1-1 cry "Lord save me!"
Matthew 14: Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” (Matthew 14:31 NIV). Note the word "immediately."  Just when Peter thinks he doesn't need to focus exclusively on Christ, he is defeated by his own fear.  I'm thankful that our God is in us, constantly with us, and ready immediately to save us from ourselves.
Lord help me in my unbelief and lack of discipline.  Help me not to focus on my own failings or (sometimes more importantly) the failings of others, but solely on you. For when I focus on you, you help me rise up and walk above the storms of this life.  Thank you for saving me from myself, forgive me for requiring constant correction, and help me stay focused.