2 Timothy 3:14 But as for you, continue to hold to the things that you have learned and of which you are convinced, knowing from whom you learned [them], (AMP)
Often I feel like the whole world is against me. I can't seem to do anything but argue with Reja. I can't carry on a conversation about school and work with my kids. Things at work are hectic, I can't get everything done, and no one seems happy with me at all. Now is one of those times. I guess I'm getting older and perhaps disappointing people on a more frequent basis as I can begin to recall similar occasions in the not-to-distant past. In addition to the physical and emotional exhaustion that accompanied these times, I also recall the emergence from some of them. Often it came with words of encouragement from the very people I thought were the most disappointed. Often these words were thanks for what had been done, yet I saw so much more that wasn't getting done.
Perhaps others don't see those things that aren't getting done and instead are simply appreciative of what was done, I'm really not sure. What I do know is that I am my harshest critic. I set expectations that are sometimes unreasonable and aren't being set by others for me. I also tend to receive assignments and immediately begin to feel like I've got to do it myself, forgetting that I've got hundreds of coworkers at least some of whom need to be actively engaged in this tasking. I've finally learned that failure to get them involved sends a much more negative message than "overloading" them (many of them complain regardless!). So, with many, I've got to pick my poison and choose to consciously get them involved in spite of the fact I know that they will complain and/or give me products that aren't what I would produce or aren't done the way I would do it. I'm finding this "letting go" difficult, but necessary in my relationship with my kids, especially Ryan, with my coworkers, and with the people in my church. The worse option I've finally learned is to do things myself and deny others their "blessing" of learning, contributing, and feeling valued. By doing it myself, I'm not properly loving others.
Additionally, I've had trouble my whole career balancing priorities. I give lip service to God, wife, kids, myself before work, etc, but I'm afraid my "lifesong" sings to my work. Currently, it is consuming my physical, mental, and emotional energy. Just yesterday, however, I stood up for what I know to be a high priority for my family. I've had a long-term tasking to get a briefing up to several key leaders and they set a date for 12-13 May. I responded to my leadership that I wouldn't be able to support that week. Although I don't currently really have plans, this is the first week both kids will be out of school and if we're going to take a vacation, this is the most logical time to do so. I don't see a scriptural reference to vacations, but God was very strict about a "Sabbath." I don't dislike my job at all, but I can tell it's time for a "Sabbath." I need a break and so does my family.
"...continue to hold to the things that you have learned and of which you are convinced, knowing from whom you learned [them]," I know that in the end, very little of what is currently stressing me out has any eternal value. It is here today, causes me great distress and distraction, but will be gone tomorrow. The same with people's opinions. My God, my family, and my closest friendships, however remain. To these I must remain faithful.
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