(rant on)
I've been struggling with a family member over their recent choices in life which is the result of a character morality problem. I'm now at a position of having no where to go in conversation. What do you do if someone doesn't want to follow God? What do you do if they refuse to talk plainly? How can you have influence?
My confusion is over what is the proper response for me as a Christian, as a brother, as someone who is trying to follow God. Sure this person has made a big mistake, but we all do. I've repeatedly said "The past is the past. But what about your character now? What are you doing or putting in your life so that you don't fall the same way again?" Every question is refused. The answer is always that they don't understand the question. They "play dumb" as a method to resist conversation. What can you do if someone clearly doesn't want to have a conversation? The most irritating aspect is the pretentiousness of it all. They don't have the courage to say "I don't want to talk to you" because that would put them in a bad perception. They also don't have the courage to say "I'm not a Christian" or "I'm a Christian but I'm going to do what I want to do" because that would be admission or taking responsibility for their current actions. I have encouraged any and all of the above but they would rather pretend it doesn't exist. It is quite maddening to the mind. I have said very directly, "make a decision one way or the other and get off the fence!" Got no reply.
Where does a friend go when a friend refuses to be accountable? Do we "shake the dust off our sandals" and move on as Jesus told the disciples to do when they encountered cities that refused to accept God's Word? Do we hug them and tell them how much they are loved and pretend it doesn't exist? I just can't believe that pretending is the right answer, but I am getting crucified for not doing it by my family.
I believe I am to hug them and tell them how much they are loved but continue to make sure they know that they must be accountable for the influence of their character. The problem is they refuse the hugs and to believe you love them when you do this. I have been specifically told that they believe that in no way did I do anything out of a heart of love. They accuse me of being "judgmental". Yet, I have judged nothing. I have repeatedly said I simply want them to tell the actual truth and put something in their life so they don't repeat a mistake. Again, it is maddening to the mind. I have said that they need to tell me how to define their actions so I can determine how it will affect my family. The answer was they didn't owe them anything, my family could believe what they want to believe. And yet, I'm in the wrong for not saying "do whatever you want, as long as you're happy - it's all good". I am sorry, but I can't agree to that.
I have to stand on faith for there is nothing else in life. In fact. life is only in faith and faith is life. I shall love deeply and fully as commanded, but I will not allow a lie into the house God has provided for me. I myself have witnessed how satan seeks to destroy the blessings of God through lies, deceptions, and pretensions. I will confront this everywhere I see it. The pain is too deep and the destruction is too broad for it to be allowed. I pray daily for God to stand over our home, His home, so evil will run from it. I pray daily for God to bless our family and our home; for His love to abound. I pray that God will hold us in His hands.
(rant off)
I've been struggling with a family member over their recent choices in life which is the result of a character morality problem. I'm now at a position of having no where to go in conversation. What do you do if someone doesn't want to follow God? What do you do if they refuse to talk plainly? How can you have influence?
My confusion is over what is the proper response for me as a Christian, as a brother, as someone who is trying to follow God. Sure this person has made a big mistake, but we all do. I've repeatedly said "The past is the past. But what about your character now? What are you doing or putting in your life so that you don't fall the same way again?" Every question is refused. The answer is always that they don't understand the question. They "play dumb" as a method to resist conversation. What can you do if someone clearly doesn't want to have a conversation? The most irritating aspect is the pretentiousness of it all. They don't have the courage to say "I don't want to talk to you" because that would put them in a bad perception. They also don't have the courage to say "I'm not a Christian" or "I'm a Christian but I'm going to do what I want to do" because that would be admission or taking responsibility for their current actions. I have encouraged any and all of the above but they would rather pretend it doesn't exist. It is quite maddening to the mind. I have said very directly, "make a decision one way or the other and get off the fence!" Got no reply.
Where does a friend go when a friend refuses to be accountable? Do we "shake the dust off our sandals" and move on as Jesus told the disciples to do when they encountered cities that refused to accept God's Word? Do we hug them and tell them how much they are loved and pretend it doesn't exist? I just can't believe that pretending is the right answer, but I am getting crucified for not doing it by my family.
I believe I am to hug them and tell them how much they are loved but continue to make sure they know that they must be accountable for the influence of their character. The problem is they refuse the hugs and to believe you love them when you do this. I have been specifically told that they believe that in no way did I do anything out of a heart of love. They accuse me of being "judgmental". Yet, I have judged nothing. I have repeatedly said I simply want them to tell the actual truth and put something in their life so they don't repeat a mistake. Again, it is maddening to the mind. I have said that they need to tell me how to define their actions so I can determine how it will affect my family. The answer was they didn't owe them anything, my family could believe what they want to believe. And yet, I'm in the wrong for not saying "do whatever you want, as long as you're happy - it's all good". I am sorry, but I can't agree to that.
I have to stand on faith for there is nothing else in life. In fact. life is only in faith and faith is life. I shall love deeply and fully as commanded, but I will not allow a lie into the house God has provided for me. I myself have witnessed how satan seeks to destroy the blessings of God through lies, deceptions, and pretensions. I will confront this everywhere I see it. The pain is too deep and the destruction is too broad for it to be allowed. I pray daily for God to stand over our home, His home, so evil will run from it. I pray daily for God to bless our family and our home; for His love to abound. I pray that God will hold us in His hands.
(rant off)
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