Confrontational Conversation

As a follow to my recent post on Today's Conversation, I look to these verses on guides on how to interact with a Christian who is living in sin but unable or refusing to live in accordance to the Word of God in Who they claim to believe.

"Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted." - Galatians 6:1 (NIV)

Dan Delzell comments in his Christian Post article, Helping Someone Escape Sin Is Not Judgmental on this verse.  "That is a command to every Christian who is "spiritual," which is to say, every Christian who is grounded in God's grace and filled with compassion for those caught in sin. It is not our job as Christians to go and tell everyone in the world where they are sinning.....but it is our job to help those around us who become trapped in sin....and to listen to those around us when we ourselves become trapped in sin. That is how the New Testament church is designed to work....but we must remember to always do it "gently" as instructed in this passage from Galatians."

It is our job as Christian brothers and sisters to help those around us who become trapped in sin.  "My brethren, if any among you strays from the truth and one turns him back, let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins" (James 5:19-20).  James indicates that if we can turn them from the error of their ways we save them from many more sins.  The faster someone off the path can get back to the path the less likelihood there will be more pain and suffering as a result of being off the path.  This makes common sense.  Yet our society opposes this in almost every way.  Even our churches are reluctant to teach and practice this type of action towards one another. 

It is our job as a Christian brother and sister to listen to those around us when we ourselves become trapped in sin.  "Let a righteous man strike me--that is a kindness; let him rebuke me--that is oil on my head.  My head will not refuse it, for my prayer will still be against the deeds of evildoers" (Psalm 141:5).  The proper attitude is one that recognizes that my Christian brother or sister who is confronting me over something in my life is actually loving me properly.  Because we practice non-confrontation in our relationships most people see confrontations as rejection.  But that is precisely incorrect.  "Better is open rebuke than hidden love" (Proverbs 27:5).  It is better to be confronted by our brother or sister openly than for them to love us and never seek to help us.  Who would watch someone you love walk off a cliff and not try to turn them around?  Does the person trying to stop them  love them more than the person who watches and says nothing?  Yes, very much more.

It is our job as a Christian brother or sister to be gentle.  Being gentle or meek is a key element in the approach.  We are to be meek as a part of watching out for ourselves against the temptation of the sin.  We are just as capable of being wrapped in that sin or another sin as our brother whom we are seeking to restore.  We need to be aware of this knowing that we are simply a beggar trying show another beggar where the giver of food resides.  This approach should be performed humbly and not with pride as one who is above such things.  "For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God." 

Jesus instructed us on how to perform this work.  "If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you . If they listen to you, you have won them over.  But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.'  If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector." - Matthew 18:15-17

This is very straightforward.  The most striking part of this is the "treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector."  Jesus said this, not me.  This is a clear instruction and it is the very opposite of what the church teaches today.  No one wants to put this action to practice because it hurts.  In the dealing with a drug addict world, this is called "tough love".  The drug addict wants more money so he can go get more drugs and he'll say or do almost anything to get more drugs.  The sinner, wants more approval so he or she can go live the way they want to live, and they'll say or do almost anything to get more approval.  Jesus specifically says to not give that approval.  In fact, I would say He says to be careful in how you interact with them, "or you also may be tempted."