Eph 2:10 For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
This week I had to go to WaDC. When I checked in on Facebook (something I never do) at Joe Theisman's Restaurant in Alexandria, VA, my sister-in-law responded that my brother-in-law was in WaDC as well. I didn't think much about it, but the next day on a whim I texted him to see where he was staying. It was my last night there and I already had plans to meet coworkers for dinner and was really surprised when I got a response to my text. As it turned out, he was staying in the Hilton hotel right across the street from my Embassy Suites.
Reja and I had been praying for a while about how to best minister to her brother as he goes through a divorce. He is quite private and had not responded to calls or texts for a couple of months. While I respect his right to privacy, it was difficult to sit on the sidelines and not provide support.
We met around 6:30 at the Embassy and shared a couple of beers, then went to Theisman's for dinner where we spent about 2 hours talking in depth about some of the details behind their failed marriage, the impact to their four children, and how to best respond. I was impressed at how diligent he was to avoid blaming his wife, although he did point out some key foundational differences in their faith and approaches to finance and child rearing. It was obvious that he felt like a failure and was carrying a large burden of guilt and shame. Yet he wasn't retreating to his apartment in Hattiesburg and turning to worldly solutions. He has sought counseling both individually and as a couple, originally starting with a decidedly Christian counselor until his wife refused to return because of the counselor's faith and message. Furthermore he has been regularly attending Venture church in Hattiesburg and has joined a divorce recovery small group that he looks forward to attending and has awakened his faith and willingness to openly share.
I had an awesome opportunity to boldly proclaim how God's overwhelming grace in our own marriage has literally kept us together in spite of our mutual faults. The subject of faith is not an open topic in my in-laws family as they retain my father-in-laws practice of keeping private matters if health, money, and faith. Yet on this day, he was a sponge absorbing my own testimony and probing the deeper subjects of faith and our own human failings. I'm glad that as I've struggled through my own reaction to your marital issues, that God has pointed out my own faults such that rather standing in judgement, I could simply come along side him as a man with my own failures, faults, and need for a savior and guide. Perhaps yet another realization of Ro 8:28 from your own faith journey.
Thanks for the lesson and preparation brother!
2 comments:
I think it is awesome that you were able to discuss faith with him in an obvious difficult time. Perhaps you are winning a brother at a different level. I am struck at how opposite his approach and follow through from the divorce is than my own brother. I can relate to his decisions.
Including your meeting with him, this is five marriages in real trouble or in disaster that we've encountered in the last four or so weeks.
Oh, and it does help to know that pain is not wasted. Hopefully, we are somewhat more mature having persevered as James says in James 1.
Post a Comment