Romans 14:10-14 Amplified Bible (AMP)
10 Why do you criticize and pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you look down upon or despise your brother? For we shall all stand before the judgment seat of God.
11 For it is written, As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to Me, and every tongue shall confess to God [acknowledge Him to His honor and to His praise].
12 And so each of us shall give an account of himself [give an answer in reference to judgment] to God.
13 Then let us no more criticize and blame and pass judgment on one another, but rather decide and endeavor never to put a stumbling block or an obstacle or a hindrance in the way of a brother.
Lately I've become extra-sensitive to those around me that seem to find nothing to say except to criticize. Often, for instance, I hear people criticize the church service, the sermon, the music, the sound or visual aids. Some say the music is unfamiliar and doesn't fit with the worship style or that the sermon wasn't pointed enough. Others are frustrated with the upkeep of the building and grounds while others are frustrated with staff turnover. All may be valid critiques, but I'm wondering what people expect when they go to church. Furthermore, I'm wondering if they care how the criticism affects my spirit and perhaps more importantly, their own spirit. I'm not sure why I've become so sensitive, but perhaps God is dealing with my own critical spirit.
I'm most critical at home and mostly of Reja and the kids. Consequently, I constantly complain, nag, gripe, and issue negative reinforcement about everything. My clothes aren't clean, or my house isn't clean or my yard isn't cut, or my vehicles aren't clean, or dinner isn't ready and so on and so on and so on and so on. As we've aged, I can see the toll my perfectionist streak has had on Reja as she has come to expect criticism over several key topics and lives in a defensive posture and often lashes out even without criticism. In short, my criticism has made her worse, not better in every subject that I constantly berate her about. Now, I constantly pray for God to help me love her as Christ loves the church and to become an encourager, not a critic. As we know, however, a leopard simply cannot change his own spots except by the grace of God and the Grace of God doesn't change the consequences of years of bad decisions and behaviors over night.
So I live in a constant state of needing an extra dose of God's grace. Unfortunately, in spite of the fact that I think I might actually see a difference in myself, change in Reja or the kids lags behind the improvements I think I observe in myself. I've spent years building a critical relationship and they live in a world that expects it, often even misinterpreting my words and intent because of my past critical spirit. I've got a long way to go to become the man I should be, but in the meantime I live in a home of my own making. For that I need patience and I was not born with that gene. Back to the well of God's grace...
So I'm hypersensitive to criticism. I tell my engineering staff that it takes zero brain cells to criticize another's idea, design, or analysis. Real brains are required to actually execute a design or improve a design or conduct an analysis. More importantly, criticism doesn't help me accomplish our mission. Don't get me wrong, we need critique, but it can't end with criticism. I need answers, plans, paths forward. I believe church is no different.
In fact, what I see, is that we usually get out of a circumstance what we put into it. If we go to church expecting issues, we will find them readily. Worse, we won't worship. If on the other hand, we go expecting to draw nearer to and be caught up into the spirit of God, I almost always find an occasion to do so in our church. I guess what I learned from the school of hard knocks is that proper worship requires preparation of my own critical spirit or I simply miss the opportunities to worship, fellowship, and grow.
So are you constantly criticizing the church and its staff? If so, what do you hope to accomplish? Are your thoughts guided by the Holy Spirit or self-centeredness? If you think these thoughts are inspired, what do you think God is calling you to do about it? I urge you to be cautious in your criticism. I live in a home that has been perhaps irreparably damaged by my own critical spirit. Do you want to join me in the cesspool of my sin?