Justifying on All Sides

I have been bothered a little lately from my own reflections regarding a disagreement with someone.  They continued in this discussion to justify and justify their actions regarding obvious sin in their life, then refuse and refuse to discuss why or how they got there.  They also continued to insist that they were close to God and restored.  However, when I asked to hear that testimony with excitement, they refused to discuss it saying, “I don’t have to talk about that” to which I was stunned, but that’s another discussion.

“For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God.”  -  John 3:20-21

What bothers me is that, if I look from their point-of-view (or any person in sin for that matter), do they see someone who is justifying their actions (or words) with the Bible?  Most definitely so.  Even though I have yet to quote a single chapter and verse in our discussions, but only inferred to what is righteous and what is not, it is as though I am quoting it.  I think this is because they know what is right and they also know they aren’t doing it.

When I was just starting college, I took the opportunity to push myself into my father’s home.  I had been living in Arizona though the last two years of high school with my Mom and I wanted to go back to Mississippi.  So, at an odd time of a phone call from my father, which we never got (maybe talked to him twice while I was in high school), I pushed for moving there.  He strangely accepted.  It was awkward but we tried.  (Unfortunately time has shown that it didn’t last as relationships require two committed people, not just one.)  But something happened as I learned more about his life.  While he was and is not an alcoholic or wild in spirit in any way at all now, I learned that he was early in his life.  For some reason, learning that freed me from having to live by the standard he was living now.  So, if I wanted to go wild it had to be okay because he had been wild.

I justified my actions from a person who had not had any real influence in my life to that point, but simply because he was my father.  It makes no sense.  But what I see is how we are too apt to justify our actions based on the actions of others.  The thinking seems to be, “if they did it, then it must be okay for me to do it because I am certainly not expected to be more than they are.”  Even though the parent might not want for their child to repeat their foolish mistakes so they can be so much more, it becomes impossible to influence them to not do so.  Why is it so hard for us to gain that wisdom?  Why do some lessons have to be experienced?

Although these last two paragraphs do not seem related to the first few, I think they are as I find the middle aged graying adult refusing to acknowledge their spiritual condition and actions from that condition and the young adult refusing to not do what they know they should do and disrespecting their parents authority are essentially in the same spiritual location.  And whomever goes to them to try to talk about what is truth and best for their lives and all those around them is seen as someone justifying their position, not as someone trying to help them. 

What changed me?  A cup of coffee one Sunday morning.  I got up and got a cup of coffee and sat on the steps and watched a sunrise.  God said to me, even with me not living a righteous life, “Son, what are you doing?  Do YOU think it’s right?  Does it give YOU peace?”  He did not say what does He say is right, which I find interesting now in retrospect.  He relied upon my introspection of my own heart which I believe still contained the Spirit of God.  That moment was peaceful, not confrontational.  My heart swelled and I prayed for His help. 

I don’t know how to lead or help others to see God more quickly.  All I know is He can and will when they are ready.  I also know that I don’t need to justify my conviction of sin or my conviction that being close to God is the most full and rewarding way to live this life.  I just need to live that way in complete faith.  Living a life in Him, in peace and wisdom, with joy and love, is an example to those who do not live with those “things”.  This example is the greatest justification to those who have yet to choose.