Thursday, January 8, 2015

Resentment

In Job 36:13 there is a very important aspect of human action, thought, and feeling that we need to understand regarding those who do not turn to obey God's command as indicated in verse 10 and suffer through the promise of verse 12.

"But the hypocrites in heart store up wrath; they do not cry for help when He binds them." - Job 36:13

I looked up the word ‘resentment’ in Webster’s and it is defined as “a feeling of indignant displeasure or persistent ill will at something regarded as a wrong, insult, or injury.”  So naturally I looked up indignant, or indignation, and it is defined as “anger aroused by something unjust, unworthy, or mean.”  So if I put these two together and make it personal to me, resentment becomes “a feeling of anger aroused by something I perceive to be unjust or mean towards me that is wrong, insulting, or injurious”.  Unfortunately, I think that’s pretty close to how I’ve felt before.  I know that this is exactly the description I'd use for how those who choose to remain in sin treat me when I try to address or get them to address the obvious conflict in their life.  They resent me with anger as they believe I am wrong, insulting, and even injurious to them.

"The hypocrites in heart".  This is the one who, as described in the preceding verses, knows he is sinning because God has told him, but he has chosen not to obey.  He knows the Word of God, but does not do it.  He is a hypocrite in his heart.  He says he believes in God, but he doesn't do what God says.  A person in this position has lost faith in God.  They are saying with their actions that they know the truth, but will not do it.  This means that they are putting themselves on the throne, they are their own god.  Their word has more authority than God's Word.  Because of this he "stores up wrath" - he holds anger, fury, and rage in his heart.  He will not cry for help.  And anyone who reminds them of the real truth is putting them in position to receive that anger. 

Resentment is like an iceberg, 90% of it is under the surface.  The small indications you get of someone resentful to you (or that you give of being resentful to them) are just a small fraction of the feelings inside.  The biggest problem with resentment is the person you are resentful to doesn’t have to know how intently you feel about them.  Too often, when a person tries to confront that resentment they are attacked ferociously, usually to their surprise.  If the resentment could be flushed out to be justified or declared wrongful then everyone could heal, otherwise grudges will build.  So when we or others have resentment we/they become a “harbor of ill will”.  The resentment is held inside and it starts eating from the inside out. 

I believe it is important for us to understand this.  We should not be surprised when we are attacked from our loved ones when we try to help them.  We should understand that this battle is really between them and God, and they are just delaying their judgment day.  So when we try to confront them, to speed up the process so they can turn and live in God's prosperity and pleasures (v11), which we know is the best life for them, we should be aware that they do not want that or they would have obeyed already.  Who wants to be pushed into a fire?  However, this should not stop our intentional and deliberate efforts to help those we love.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Straightforward, insightful, and direct. I like it that way and this one should be published. I think we all fall into this trap and being blind to our own sin and then allowing the demon that binds us to lash out in deep resentment when clearly and directly confronted adding additional sin on top of the original. Like heaping coals, satan wants to defeat us in every aspect of this spiritual battle. I confess that I'm really surprised at how successful he's been in several cases.