What Now?

(rant on)
I've been struggling with a family member over their recent choices in life which is the result of a character morality problem.  I'm now at a position of having no where to go in conversation.  What do you do if someone doesn't want to follow God?  What do you do if they refuse to talk plainly?  How can you have influence?

My confusion is over what is the proper response for me as a Christian, as a brother, as someone who is trying to follow God.  Sure this person has made a big mistake, but we all do.  I've repeatedly said "The past is the past.  But what about your character now?  What are you doing or putting in your life so that you don't fall the same way again?"  Every question is refused.  The answer is always that they don't understand the question.  They "play dumb" as a method to resist conversation.  What can you do if someone clearly doesn't want to have a conversation?  The most irritating aspect is the pretentiousness of it all.  They don't have the courage to say "I don't want to talk to you" because that would put them in a bad perception.  They also don't have the courage to say "I'm not a Christian" or "I'm a Christian but I'm going to do what I want to do" because that would be admission or taking responsibility for their current actions.  I have encouraged any and all of the above but they would rather pretend it doesn't exist.  It is quite maddening to the mind.  I have said very directly, "make a decision one way or the other and get off the fence!"  Got no reply.

Where does a friend go when a friend refuses to be accountable?  Do we "shake the dust off our sandals" and move on as Jesus told the disciples to do when they encountered cities that refused to accept God's Word?  Do we hug them and tell them how much they are loved and pretend it doesn't exist?  I just can't believe that pretending is the right answer, but I am getting crucified for not doing it by my family.

I believe I am to hug them and tell them how much they are loved but continue to make sure they know that they must be accountable for the influence of their character.  The problem is they refuse the hugs and to believe you love them when you do this.  I have been specifically told that they believe that in no way did I do anything out of a heart of love.  They accuse me of being "judgmental".  Yet, I have judged nothing.  I have repeatedly said I simply want them to tell the actual truth and put something in their life so they don't repeat a mistake.  Again, it is maddening to the mind.  I have said that they need to tell me how to define their actions so I can determine how it will affect my family.  The answer was they didn't owe them anything, my family could believe what they want to believe.  And yet, I'm in the wrong for not saying "do whatever you want, as long as you're happy - it's all good".  I am sorry, but I can't agree to that.

I have to stand on faith for there is nothing else in life.  In fact. life is only in faith and faith is life.  I shall love deeply and fully as commanded, but I will not allow a lie into the house God has provided for me.  I myself have witnessed how satan seeks to destroy the blessings of God through lies, deceptions, and pretensions.  I will confront this everywhere I see it.  The pain is too deep and the destruction is too broad for it to be allowed.  I pray daily for God to stand over our home, His home, so evil will run from it.  I pray daily for God to bless our family and our home; for His love to abound.  I pray that God will hold us in His hands.
(rant off)

Psalm 67

¹ May God be gracious to us and bless us
    and make His face shine on us—
² so that Your ways may be known on earth,
    Your salvation among all nations.

Here is a prayer to God asking for His blessing.  It reminds me of the Prayer of Jabez that much was made of years ago.  In 1 Chronicles 4:10, “Jabez calls upon God saying, ‘Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!’  So God granted him what he requested.”  Here the prayer is that God would be gracious and bless us.   It is for His radiance and His Spirit to shine upon us and cover us.  What an awesome prayer.  How often do we directly ask God to bless us?  Do we not ask because we don’t feel worthy?  We are right, we aren’t.  Neither was Jabez.  Yet he asked and God granted it. 

Why do we ask for blessings?  So God’s ways and His salvation known to everyone.  Jabez said so he would not cause pain to others.  Our greatest concern should be for the spiritual condition of the world.  Do they know God’s ways and do they know His salvation?  Here the prayer is for God’s blessing and presence so that the world may know by seeing His influence upon us.

³ May the peoples praise You, God;
    may all the peoples praise You.
⁴ May the nations be glad and sing for joy,
    for You rule the peoples with equity
    and guide the nations of the earth.
⁵ May the peoples praise You, God;
    may all the peoples praise You.

May everyone everywhere praise the one and only God at all times.  May everyone everywhere rejoice and be glad.  May everyone everywhere for God’s righteous rule and for His guidance.  May everyone everywhere praise the one and only God!  … How would we respond if this actually happened?  Would we look at everyone in disbelief distrusting their motive or sincerity?  Or would we be overcome with joy and praise for our Lord?  We need to know in our heart if we truly desire for everyone everywhere to know God, be ruled by Him, guided by Him, and praising who He is.  If we don’t want this, we are against God.

⁶ The land yields its harvest;
    God, our God, blesses us.
⁷ May God bless us still,
    so that all the ends of the earth will fear Him.

We proclaim how our God blesses us and we pray that He will bless us continually so everyone everywhere will know there is only one God with all authority and all power. 

Pray today for God’s blessing upon your life so that all people will come to know Him.  May we be blesses so everyone will praise His greatness.  May we be blessed so everyone will know that there is only one God, the great I AM, the author of life.  Blessed be the name of the Lord!

God at Work

Matt 6: 31So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

This past weekend was Transfer Student Orientation for Ryan.  While we all looked forward to being back in StarkVegas, I think we were all feeling a little apprehensive about getting him registered, finding a place for him to live, and getting all the bills paid.  So we prayed about it and then Reja and Ryan did quite a lot of on-line research into all the details.  Ryan called ahead and made appointments to tour apartments.  The first tour really depressed us with the possibilities, revealing a dirty, poorly maintained complex and unit that smelled life a dirty dog.  It really surprised Ryan at the conditions for which college kids (and parents)  happily fork over premium rent.  Worse, that night in the hotel, the neighbors kept us up nearly all night with post-party talk and laughter that came through the paper-thin walls loud and clear.  
So we prayed more and drove around Starkville and stumbled upon some one bedroom stand-alone houses that really intrigued Ryan with the possibilities of true privacy.  Although not luxurious, they were spacious and offered the privacy Ryan desired.  These weren't advertised on the web in any way that we could find before or after our trip, but we felt God had guided us in that direction.  The next day, Ryan had an appointment for some much newer apartments further from campus on a golf course.  They had demo units that were very tastefully decorated and of course were in perfect show condition.  Suddenly Ryan found himself torn between two really good options - an answer to prayer.  
Orientation was useful, but not hugely so and as Reja and I waited for Ryan to meet with his advisor and register for classes, at least I wondered if that day was going to prove worth the time.  When he finally finished, he was incredibly animated and energized.  His advisor had taken a very personal interest in him, his calling to ministry, and his education.  Although we thought we had done all the right research, upon hearing Ryan's testimony, then reviewing his major declaration and strawman class schedule, the professor recommended an entirely different approach stating that Ryan was in for a very liberal experience that would challenge his beliefs rather than reinforce and grow them.  He first recommended a change in his philosophy degree emphasis from a pre-seminary track to a religion track so that Ryan could take more religion classes and less philosophy classes.  Then he worked a schedule to line up specific teachers that would work closely with Ryan for success.  Ryan was greatly encouraged and it showed in his speech and mood. 
Before we left Starkville, we revisited the two housing options to help inform his decision.  Both people we talked to were very gracious and hospitable (in true southern fashion of course) only adding to Ryan's enthusiasm, but not making his decision any easier.  He's blessed with a choice among to really good options for him. 
Finally we capped off the day with what was to be a quick stop at the Wesley foundation.  I had met with the campus director during the morning session and as we talked, he remembered receiving a request for information from Ryan prior to orientation and invited us by later in the day since he had not met Ryan.  When we walked into  the front door, we were met with a large circle of adults who looked up in shock to see us.  It turned out we walked into a Foundation Board meeting which really embarrassed me.  They were gracious and wouldn't let us leave without a tour.  As we wrapped up, Hugh refused to accept my apology stating how important it was for the board to witness parents take an interest in their kid's spiritual development to the same extent as their academic development. 
As we pulled out of Starkville, Ryan said he was now really excited about MSU and Starkville and could see it being home.  That one pierced me.  I've been dreading this chapter in life and that one statement summarized my dread.  Yet, it is a necessary chapter in life and must happen.  How awesome to see God at work guiding us through all the big decisions and the little details just so we all know that Ryan is on the right path and will be taken care of just like He has always cared for us.  I don't look forward to the empty nest, but I seeing God work through Ryan's advisor and through the Wesley Foundation experience, seeing God answer prayer about a place to live gives me confidence that the nest really isn't empty.  God is there with Reja and I continuing to love, lead, and council us just as He always has up to this very minute. 
So, what did I get out of Ryan's orientation?  Increased faith and confidence that God is at work, Ryan is answering His call, and God will be taking care of both Ryan and us as well.  And I thought this was about getting an education...

Psalm 69:6-11

“Lord, the Lord Almighty, may those who hope in You not be disgraced because of me; God of Israel, may those who seek You not be put to shame because of me.  For I endure scorn for Your sake, and shame covers my face.  I am a foreigner to my own family, a stranger to my own mother’s children; for zeal for Your house consumes me, and the insults of those who insult You fall on me.  When I weep and fast, I must endure scorn; when I put on sackcloth, people make sport of me.”  Psalm 69:6-11

David does not want anyone who is seeking God or who have their hopes in the Lord to be dismayed negatively by him or his actions in any way.  I believe he has a fear here that he may have hurt people’s spiritual desire for God and he is praying that no one is affected in a manner that would draw them away from God.  Let’s face a simple fact, we have a sin nature and we’re going to sin.  We may not want to; we may know it’s in there and we don’t want it to come out; but somewhere somehow there will be a sin and we will need forgiveness from God through Jesus our Savior.  But, how we react to our sin matters a great deal and shows a lot regarding our character.  I find that when someone has sinned greatly clues about their true spiritual condition can be gathered by watching what their priorities are regarding the people around them.  Do they put the people’s welfare who are affected by their sin ahead of themselves?  Is their heart broken because a single person might have to suffer because of who they are and what they’ve done?  Do they perform actions that do not help them first, but help everyone around them to recover faster?  Are they willing for the others who have been caught up in their storm to be lifted up ahead of them?  Are they willing to accept all the responsibility so that no cause is reflected upon those who have been hurt?  In essence, do they put others ahead of themselves?  Or, is everything someone else’s fault.  Is the sin justified as a result of an inability to cope with the actions of others?  Is everyone just getting their fair “shake” of what happened no fault of their own?  … There is a marked difference between a person whose heart is broken over their sin and wants to not hurt anyone’s relationship with God and a person who lets pieces fall where they fall. 

David is first concerned over the spiritual condition of others.  He follows that with being the object of scorn and an outcast to his own family, for God’s sake.  This could be because he is trying to do the right thing following his sin.  People are scorning him, making fun of his effort to reconcile with God.  After all, who is he to pursue God after such a great sin?  What a fool! … People still do this to this day.  It is human nature and that thinking is the natural man’s way of thinking.  But Godly thinking rejoices in the man who pursues God, especially after falling.  The hardest thing to do after a fall is be willing to get up and start running again.  The best thing we can do is encourage someone to get up and start running.  Hopefully they’ll encourage us when we are down. 

Not only do others scorn him but his own family treats him as an outsider.  They’ve rejected him.  His own brothers and sisters treat him as if he isn’t one.  Why? “For zeal for Your house consumes me”.  Out of the ashes of his sin comes a torrent of fire pursuing God.  Once he has seen his condition he pours his heart into finding God, being one with God, knowing more of God, and dwelling with God and he refuses to accept anything less than this.  He must have it!  This is the proper heart condition that all of us hope to have following a sin.   Yet, he is scorned for it and ostracized from his family.  Sorrowfully, many today experience similar situations.  When a family truly “judges” one who has sinned, they shun them.  Instead they should seek to confront and come alongside in encouragement to help someone seek God again. 

I find in this reading that we must be careful to know ourselves by reading our own dashboard.  We need to look at our “caring for others or caring for myself” dial and see if it’s running well.  We need to look at our “condemning others or encouraging others” dial and see what it reads.  We need to look at the “zeal for God” dial and see if it’s full.  It is important to know where we are in this context.  These readings let us know where we are in our following of the two great commandments.

Psalm 101:7-8

⁷ He who works deceit shall not dwell within my house;
He who tells lies shall not continue in my presence.

The liar and the one who works to create confusion shall not dwell in the house of the lord.  He will not tolerate such in His presence.  This verse could also have been written from David about his own house and he is saying that he will not allow those who lie to dwell in his house and he will not let them continue in his presence. 

Either way, the only way to keep someone from dwelling in your home or continuing to tell lies in your presence is to confront them.  There has to be a confrontation where the lies are asked to be defined and the person must stand accountable for them.  I believe it is extremely important for Christian homes to be firm on this.  Make every word accountable, let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and your ‘no’ be ‘no’.  We must train ourselves and our children to be accustomed to confrontation on their actions and willing to confront others.  Any type of passive resistance is vague and non-specific and creates unresolved emotions between family members and should be avoided.  If someone is lying they should be confronted about it and their future intentions clarified so everyone knows what direction they are going or what spiritual target they’re aiming towards.

⁸ Early I will destroy all the wicked of the land,
That I may cut off all the evildoers from the city of the Lord.

Evil will not be allowed to prosper.  When it is recognized it will be destroyed quickly so that they do not access the holy city.  We would do well to learn this in our own lives.  When sin in our life is recognized we should be adamant to destroy it quickly.  We should find a way to not let it roost and close the gap so no foothold can be established.  By being vigilant to watch and destroy it we will keep it from corrupting our spirit, our peace, our love, our perception of others, our joy, and our hope.  It will not seep in and come between us and our Lord.

Psalm 101:6

⁶ My eyes shall be on the faithful of the land,
That they may dwell with me;
He who walks in a perfect way,
He shall serve me.

Summing up these preceding verses in a quick paragraph, we are to sing about God’s great mercies, behave wisely, walk with a perfect heart and the deeds of the evil will not cling to us as our own heart’s perverse ways are removed and we do not know wickedness.  Those who work to push wickedness onto the righteous; those who purposely slander their reputations and character to destroy; those who create perceptions for the cause of looking down upon the righteous and teaching that the ways of the righteous are wrong will be destroyed and not tolerated.  

Today we see this in our culture in such a way that it is almost too big to describe.  Every Christian teaching is condemned.  Life is devalued.  Freedom of choice is restricted.  All of that in the United States, the supposedly land of the free created by the God-fearing as a place to escape persecution.  Around the world Christians themselves are slaughtered, imprisoned, and enslaved.  Today I read where up to 60 women are committing suicide per day in the areas controlled by ISIS because of their treatment by those Muslims as sex slaves.  My mind cannot comprehend it all.  I know that my God can.

How do we respond to this?  We worship and sing about God’s great mercies, behave wisely as instructed in His Word, walk with a perfect heart and the deeds of the evil will not cling to us and we will not know wickedness.  We rest in God’s promise that He loves justice.  We stay focused on Him and we reach for a stronger faith, willing to trust completely to every cell of our physical body and every mental impulse of our thoughts, even in our trial.  We thank God for the stumbling blocks, that we might learn a greater faith.

God’s “eyes shall be on the faithful … that they may dwell with me.”  God will not forsake us; He will deliver us.  May we take rest in His promises.

 “He who walks in a perfect way, He shall serve me.”  This could obviously be written as prophesy to Jesus.  He was the only one who walked perfectly and He made many statements indicating that He served His Father in heaven.  The most obvious while in the Garden where He cried “not My way but Thine”. 

Personally, I believe I might need some breaking in this area.  I’m not sure how I feel about the sentence, “You shall serve me.”  Even though I may be working as well as I think I can to walk in a perfect way where the perfect way is by the instruction of the one and only holy God, I wonder how receptive I am to the command, “He shall serve me.”  What a wretched man I am!  How double-minded can I be?  How can there be an intentional effort to have a character designed by God but an inborn stubbornness at such a demanding call?  Who am I to consider that I serve because I choose to serve and not because He commands my service!!   If I do not fully submit, then I am no servant at all.  If I cannot be commanded, but choose to review every instruction to see if it meets my review, then I am no servant at all.  How can I even claim to be a Christ follower if I cannot first claim to be a servant of God?

The most fulfilling part of living is knowing you are performing and completing your purpose given to you by your Creator.  When we reach that we know that we are living in a perfect way and we are serving Him.  Our joy and our completion is in the worth of our contribution, no matter how small, to His purpose.  That He would use me for anything is such an overwhelming consideration and my fulfillment is made in my service to Him through the perfect life of Christ.  I am compelled to serve.

 

May we know today that we do not choose to serve at our leisure, but that we are compelled to serve because of the character of our Lord. 

Psalm 101:5b

⁵ Whoever secretly slanders his neighbor,
Him I will destroy;
The one who has a haughty look and a proud heart,
Him I will not endure.

What is a “haughty look”?  Haughty means “arrogantly superior”.  To use our society’s vernacular, this is when someone thinks “they are all that and a bag of chips” and they look down upon others.  To use my generation’s words, they are snobs.  But it is more than that.  The essence of this follows from the first part of this verse.  To look down upon others with a disgust at their inadequacy is at its root the very same as slandering them.  The only difference is you are doing it front of them, “to their face”.  The only way anyone is able to do this or give off this aura is by devaluing the worth of others.  So, we see that this second part of verse 5 follows closely with the first part.  The sin or error described here is rooted in the devaluing of people. 

The haughty look is a result of a “proud heart”.  It says “I am something and you are not.  You should be more like me.”  This not only devalues the other person, it makes you an idol (at least in your own eyes).  The only person we should hope people should be like is Jesus.  There are many verses about the destruction of pride.  Proverbs 16:18 says, “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.”  Proverbs 11:2 says, “Pride leads to disgrace”.  Proverbs 6:16-17 says, “There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to Him: a proud look”. 

To be proud and to look down upon others violates the two most important commandments.  In Matthew 22:77-39 Jesus said, “Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’  This is the first and great commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’”  If you are proud you are loving yourself and if you are giving haughty looks you are not loving your neighbor. 

As much as I hate to say this, proud looks are common among Christians.  When you learn that someone you know has committed some great sin, then you see them, how do you look at them?  Do you feel sorry for them?  Do you see them as less than yourself with their obvious character flaw?  Or do you love them while thanking God you have been spared from such a stumble?  The church is famous for looking down upon sinners, yet Jesus came for sinners.  It is quite a paradox.  I have found myself hesitant to talk to some people because of things they've done.  I know they are nervous and I don't want to bother them, but at the same time I'm not sure what to do or say.  The right thing to do is to hug them and tell them you love them.  It seems so hard.  My mind is saying you are rewarding them for their evil, but God's heart is saying bring them in so I can heal them. 

Unfortunately the perception of the church from a sinner's point of view is that those people look down upon me.  This is from experience.  Why else would we be so scared for others to know of our failures?  If we knew that the other believers we worshipped with would immediately come to us to help us heal and surround us with prayer and God's love we'd run to the church after a fall, desperate for their help and encouragement.  Instead we shun the church and run from the church after a fall so that we are not ostracized.  I believe one of our charges is to change that church perception if we don't want the church to die as an institution.  If we want to change that perception, we have to change how we see and accept each other as sinners.

Proud looks will not be "endured" or tolerated before the Lord.  This is a very scary thing.  I am only here because of God's longsuffering and great patience.  Here in this verse we are told that a proud heart and having a haughty look will not be endured.  The last thing I would ever want to do is put myself on a path that shortens God's longsuffering towards me. 

 

May we be careful to sift through all that we are to find any sources of pride and never look at another person as less than ourselves.  We are all beggars.

Cost

Yesterday Russ was discussing the question posed by Kyle Idleman in his book, Not a Fan, which asks, "What has following Jesus cost you?"  As someone who was sitting in the stands with goose bumps from this sickness at a church softball game watching one team pummel another, it was hard for me to really consider the question.  But when I read the book and taught the DVD series that goes along with it, I can now remember some of my thoughts on this question.

I will admit that I initially had a difficult time with the question and I couldn't figure out why.  It took me a while to sort out the why.  Sure, I could point to lost friends, lost "good" times by not participating in some of the local krewes, lost houses on the water, etc.  The problem I have when I think of these things is I don't see it as a cost.  The return from following God's guidance to have the right friends, participate in the right activities, and be responsible with what He provides is so much more than a lost cost.  This is why it is so hard for me to try to find that thing that costs because if it was not in God's plan then it was not a cost at all. 

The cost is in not following God.  Every time we decide to not follow God we pay a tremendous cost.  We lose time, time we could have been using to grow, time we could have been using to love others, time we could have been using to follow our purpose.  And we never get that time back.  Never.  We also extol a tremendous cost on those around us.  They have to bear a burden that they don't want to or should have to bear. 

I think the right way to ask that question is, "What has not following Jesus cost you?"  I think I could fill a book answering this question.

How to set The Church apart

Isaiah 43:10 "You are my witnesses," declares the LORD, "and my servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe me and understand that I am he. Before me no god was formed, nor will there be one after me
Yesterday I was talking with Denise Whited about what it takes to set the church apart from other social organizations and I pointed to the fact we need to make decisions differently - to wait upon the Lord and follow his lead.  Certainly we are called, I believe, to surrender ourselves, including our opinions, intellect, common sense, and cleverness to His perfect leadership in order to make Godly decisions.  No where in scripture do I find "God gave us a brain and expects us to use it."  Instead I find, the calling to surrender ourselves and follow Him. 
Much more important to setting the church apart it think is that our witness should testify to the reality and benefits of serving and being in relationship with God.  After all, there is so much competition in these days for our time, what incentivizes those unfamiliar with God to want to know Him? 
I deeply appreciate the hard work and dedication that our staff is putting into the worship experience in our church.  As a member of the choir, I have a little insight into how hard they're working to build a cohesive experience that builds on the theme of the sermon.  I can't tell you how much I appreciate Dave Barkalow.  He delivers insightful messages with clear application to my life and does so in a transparent way that shows me how he has applied these truths in his life making application even more clear to me. So what's missing?  Response.  A response from us that says we worship a living God who is making a real difference to us.  Where is our testimony of God's activity in our lives?  Where are the examples of where we put our faith in God and He was faithful?  Where is the celebration of God's works?  How are our lives a testimony to the reality of God?
Yesterday Ryan received a substantial scholarship to MSU.  Yes I'm a proud Dad, but this is clearly God continuing to lead and guide Ryan.  Ryan was the kid that struggled to make B's in HS and his mother and I knew college was going to be difficult for him academically, and for us financially.  Yet, he received a very clear calling into church ministry while still in HS.  He desired to be obedient, and began asking the "how" question.  Late in his Jr year he felt compelled to dual enroll at NWFSC and followed in obedience.  His grades jumped a full letter across the board.  Since then he has explored majors, sought advice from numerous pastors on how to pursue his calling and continually prayed about his next steps.  To make a long story short, he has prayed for some time that he would receive this scholarship as part of an overall fleece to confirm that he is really supposed to pursue the path he is on.  Reja and I didn't think he would be notified about this scholarship until June, yet we have orientation this weekend and must put down $$ for housing.  We thought we would have to do so at risk.  God stepped in and gave us confirmation to "get on with it!"  Praise God from whom all blessing truly flow!
You could congratulate Ryan and dismiss God's involvement.  Yet I know him and many of you do as well.  He's a great kid, but wasn't the kid clearly on track to receive scholarships.  In order to pay for 4 years of college and 2 years of seminary, He felt compelled to stay at NWFSC for two years at drastically reduced cost to us, pursue this scholarship to offset the next two years, and then utilize the savings to go on to seminary.  He didn't make up this plan overnight, he prayed earnestly about it and God has given him the answers he needed just when he needed them. 
We clearly serve a risen Savior who is in the world today and active.  How can we make Him better known to a world that doesn't know they have a need for this Savior?

Psalm 101:5a

⁵ Whoever secretly slanders his neighbor,
Him I will destroy;
The one who has a haughty look and a proud heart,
Him I will not endure.

 Following the statement, “a perverse heart shall depart me; I will not know wickedness” is verse 5 which calls out two wicked things.  The first describes someone who slanders his neighbor.  This can cover a great deal of landscape. 

1.       There is the obvious, this is a direct conversation where someone speaks negatively for the sole purpose of demeaning or causing a perception of someone’s inadequacy.  Jesus said in Matthew 5:22, “I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire.”  Yikes!  I believe I have put myself in danger too many times.  Many times I think I have a cause but when I really look at everything, I realize that I just need to be the right person.  Being the right person means thinking about people the way God does.  Who am I to determine that a person God created and breathed life into isn’t equal and doesn’t deserve Him?  Yet again, if I intentionally speak against someone with the purpose of harming them or causing others to think less of them, I am becoming my own authority in the matter.  Jesus, who endured suffering and death, has a completely different view of people than we do.  There are, of course, some people who are intent to do evil and they have no conscious about it.  Do they deserve our harsh words?  By our justification, absolutely, but our authority and our justification simply do not matter here.  Psalm 37:27-28 says, “Depart from evil, and do good; and dwell forevermore.  For the Lord loves justice, and does not forsake His saints”.  God loves justice and if He loves justice then justice will happen.  He will not forsake us, we are always on His mind because He loves us too.  We can rest in His promise that righteous justice will occur and we are not forgotten.

2.       There is the not so obvious.  Gossip.  There is the talk about others that does not intentionally want to hurt others but does hurt others because of its nature to cause perceptions about others.  Too many people have been hurt too many times among Christians from gossip.  Gossip is at its best the telling of half-truths; at its worst it is the spreading of non-truths.  The pain from gossip strikes to the heart of people.  We are already an insecure bunch and constantly concerned about what others may feel or how they may see us.  Throw in some hearsay and then the person can’t focus on fellowship, learning, accountability.  Their sanctuary, the place they go for spiritual healing, now is the focus of their pain.  Satan uses this tool mightily.

The answer here is that this person will be destroyed!  Let that sink in.  As written above, Jesus said the person is in danger of hell fire.  This reveals to me that there is a highway to the corruption of the heart and that highway is devaluing life.  I find this startling and it causes an immensely burdened heart.  I find myself almost unable to type when I consider how we devalue life in our culture.  Every day I read about Christians being slaughtered by Muslims because they are Christians, their lives mean nothing to the Muslims except for how they can use them to promote themselves.  Every day I read about refugees crossing the Mediterranean and dying because their ships sank or they are thrown overboard.  Then my wife reads from our local newspaper how a woman addicted to Meth killed six infants and hid them in her garage.  How is any of this possible except for the devaluation of life?  Devaluation of life is the exact opposite of God who creates and gives life.  He is life.  If Satan can cause any devaluing of life, he is on tract to create confusion and chaos.  We must be anxious to see if there are any areas in our own life where we devalue another.

Psalm 101:4

⁴ A perverse heart shall depart from me;
I will not know wickedness.

How do you change?  Maybe there is something within you that you just can’t seem to shake.  You don’t like it and you want to be different.  You hate it.  You pray and pray for God to take it from you, but it seems this perverse heart, this pull away from God, remains.  Maybe it’s not you, but someone you know and they just can’t get it “out of their system”.  Are we/they doomed? 

“The Lord detests those whose hearts are perverse, but He delights in those whose ways are blameless.” – Proverbs 11:20

Here, we are told “a perverse heart SHALL depart from me”.  This is done by CHOOSING to take some actions to increase your chances of having the proper heart condition you know you should have. 

1. “I will sing … to you, O Lord.”  Sing of God’s greatness and particularly of His great mercy towards you, that is, His not giving you what you deserve for your evil, but showing His great love for you.  No matter how imperfect we are, God is not ashamed of us, but loves us with an everlasting love calling us to Himself.  So sing out of a grateful heart.
2. “I will behave wisely.”  The only wise thing any of us can truly do is follow the instructions of God.  To behave wisely we follow His Word.  We acknowledge that He is the only authority and His Words are the only words that are worthy to be followed.  We trust and obey.
3. “I will set nothing wicked before my eyes.”  I am grateful and thankful for God’s everlasting mercy and I sing to Him praising Him for His love extended towards me, “an undeserving sinner”.  I listen to His Word and I obey it.  I seek to follow it with all my intentions.  And now, I decide to put nothing in front of me that A.) Might cause me to stop praising Him or appreciating His great mercies or B.) Might cause me to stop following His Word and being wise.  “My son, if sinners entice you, DO NOT CONSENT. … My son, do not walk in the way with them, keep your foot from their path.” – Proverbs 1:10,15

Rick Warren likes to comment that the Word of God often has premises followed by promises.  Here, the premise is laid out in verses 1-3 and the promise starts in verse 4.  If we remain reminded of God’s great mercies and sing praises of them, listen to His Word and obey it, and are vigilant to have nothing wicked before us, then “a perverse heart shall depart me” and “I will not know wickedness”. 

“When wisdom enters your heart, and knowledge is pleasant to your soul,

Discretion will preserve you; understanding will keep you,

To deliver you from the way of evil, from the man who speaks perverse things,

From those who leave the paths of uprightness to walk in the ways of darkness;

Who rejoice in doing evil, and delight in the perversity of the wicked” - Proverbs 2:10-14

Not only do I continually want for there to be no perverse, no inward reluctance or disposition to oppose God’s inward call upon me, but I do not want to know evil.  I want that anchor in me that pulls me towards the bottom to be cut loose and I never want to know the suffocation from the deep.  Here we are given a recipe. 

Do you wish to be well?  Do you want to be complete throughout?  Once you answer this question, then you can answer the next one.  We have to choose who is the authority in our life and we have to choose whom to believe and in whom to have faith.  Do we choose ourselves?  Or do we choose the one true living God?

Peer Pressure

Ro 7:15 I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate.
The other day as I went to work on a rainy day, I was crossing the Cinco Bayou Bridge in the left lane on Eglin when a car came racing up behind me and then drove right on my bumper obviously wanting me to speed up or go by me.  Note that although there was some traffic I wasn't flying in formation with someone beside me and she could have easily changed lanes on the bridge and gone around me. Interestingly my first reaction was to speed up as I saw her barreling up behind me, but then I looked down and I was already doing 43mph.  So there I am speeding and this young lady wants me to go faster or get out of the way.  So, I resisted the urge to speed up or move over.  As we drove through town on the other side of the bridge, she finally moved into the center lane and blew by me.  I hate to think I might have made her late to school or a nail appointment.
This silly incident got me thinking about peer pressure and how we respond.  The only peer pressure was the closing rate of her car.  She had room to go around me, but she either lacked the skill or patience to check traffic and go around so she raced up behind me, slammed on her brakes, and rode my bumper for a half mile or so and I felt pressured to respond.  Why? 
Psychologists say we have an inner voice.  (My kids say it often comes out loud and I talk to myself as if I'm already crazy beyond my years.  They don't understand that if I don't maintain that dialogue, I'll find myself in a room and can't remember why.  But I digress...)  Why in this case is my inner voice saying I must accommodate this person?  Clearly they want to do something illegal and want me to participate.  It all happened in just a couple of short seconds, but my first reaction was to speed up and check traffic to get out of her way.  Why did it take a stream of conscious thought to rethink my action and make a conscious decision not to (increase) sin?  Clearly my nature is to sin and I had to resist that sudden urge.  Note that the other person is unknown to me, and I won't ever face any persecution for refusing to budge out of her way, but yet I felt compelled to do so.  That pressure came from myself, not her.  I put pressure on myself (ok, not much I admit) to respond to this person.  So, at least in this case, the only real pressure I felt came from inside me. 
So this is hugely simplistic example, but I wonder how often more complex scenarios play out the same way.  We are tempted via a very simple stimuli and our first reaction is to go along with the pressure or we begin wrestling with ourselves on how to respond.  I guarantee you that person isn't starting out her day reflecting on the jerk on the bridge last week that wouldn't get out of her way, yet I am.  I had to force myself to evaluate a very simplistic situation and make a conscious decision not to (increase) sin. My conclusion is that a significant amount of peer pressure is really internal pressure.  We worry about how others will respond to our decision.  We worry that others might not like us or think less highly of us.  I think this is but one trap of self-centeredness.  We put pressure on ourselves that is perceived and simply not real, yet we make decisions based on that pressure that at times are the wrong ones.  In reality the other person really only cares about themselves and when you opt out of their sin, they don't care and forget about you as soon as you're out of their way. 
So what are you feeling pressured about?  Is the pressure real or self-imposed?  Sure someone may be asking you, pressuring you, even daring you to sin, but is there really that much pressure to do so?  Sometimes I think we generate pressure that really isn't there.  We try to preserve "friendships" that really are manipulative and abusive with a long string of terrible decisions.  We see temptation coming and rather than listening to our inner voice of warning to simply avoid the situation altogether, we feel pressured to accommodate their sin.
I think often we sense pressure that isn't really there, at least not the amount of pressure we feel.  We need to get over ourselves and remember that most people are out for themselves and aren't really thinking about us or our feelings.  If they do care about our feelings, they won't mind a "no."  If they care about the "no," then they don't care about our feelings and aren't worth remaining in relationship with in the first place. 
Who's screaming up behind your back bumper today?  Are you going to put pressure on yourself to respond or grow up, be self-actualized, and resist temptation?  Seems like a stupidly simple example, but it seems to accurately capture so many situations in my life.