Light of Life

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” - John 8:12 

Today, I certainly don’t feel like I have the light of life.  I wonder if God has left me.  I assume this means that I am not following Him, if I interpret the verse above correctly.  How can you follow when you can’t hear or there are no words for you?  Where is the life from the Spirit?

Perhaps God has judged me and He has left me to myself as a judgment.  I certainly deserve this.  What then? 

I know that life is precious and everyday should be lived and not taken for granted.  Yet, life seems hollow.  Every aspect of life seems to hurt and I make everyone around me miserable.  I try to hide it, but those closest to me know something is wrong.  Perhaps I am just really tired from the fight.  Everything is a fight.  I am criticized on all sides.  The light of hope fades and I fight to keep it alive.

As I write I notice that there are way too many “I”s in the above paragraphs.  “I” should not be so important to my own landscape. 

¹⁰ Create in me a pure heart, O God,
    and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
¹¹ Do not cast me from your presence
    or take your Holy Spirit from me.
¹² Restore to me the joy of your salvation
    and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.  - Psalms 51:10-12

God did not speak to Israel for 400 years.  No prophets came during that time.  That is 12 to 15 generations of families.  That is longer than the United States has been a nation.  Even so, some in the culture kept the Word of God and the society was a theocracy based on the writings from God through men of previous generations. 

Then, Jesus came as a child and died as a sinless man.  He was resurrected and through Him life was created and can be recreated.  The dead society following words could choose God and receive His Spirit and walk in life.  Long before, David knew how important that Spirit was within him and pleaded with God to not take it from him.  Now, the Spirit is available to any who choose to believe that Jesus is the Son of the one true living God.

Today I plead as David did, for a new pure heart, to not be cast from the presence of God, that the Spirit would remain in me and my own spirit be renewed, that my joy of His salvation would be restored, and my own spirit would be willing to persevere.  May it be so.