Better is open
rebuke than hidden love.
Wounds from a
friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.
-
Proverbs 27:5-6
These two verses are directly opposed to our culture
today. Our society will quickly tell you
that if you oppose somone’s lifestyle or actions you don’t love them. In fact, all a person has to say is they are
doing what makes them happy in life. Our
current society has placed such a high value on that goal of life that all
moral and responsible actions are immediately moved as completely unimportant
relative to a person doing what makes them happy.
These verses tell us that an open confrontation, a rebuke of
your actions, is better than someone who loves you but does nothing. In fact, the verse describes such a love as hidden,
unseen. If someone loves you but never
does a single thing towards you from that love, does that love have any
value? Doesn’t it actually oppose the
character of love to do nothing for someone you love? This verse says that the one who openly rebukes
your behavior and actions is the one who is loving you and this is better love.
The next verse then discusses the wounds received from such
an open confrontation or rebuke. Undoubtedly,
if a friend confronts your behavior or action you will be emotionally
wounded. The Word of God tells us here
that such a wound from a friend (who loves you as discussed in the verse preceding)
can be trusted. Your friend’s
accountability might have hurt your feelings, it might have seemed to be against
you, but you can trust it because it comes from your friend who is not hiding
their love for you. Further, an enemy
would not only not confront you, but would send you “kiss” after “kiss” to tell
you how good you are (and how bad your friend is) in your sinful actions.
Ephesians 4:15 tells us Christians to “speak truth in love.” This does not mean that we love others with
compliments in their sin. We do not take
a sympathetic view of their sin. We
should not be fearful of offending; I can tell you from experience it is a rare
human being that isn’t offended when confronted about an action they are taking
that they want to do that they’ve reasoned as being good for them, even if the
Word of God specifically says the opposite.
We ask if they believe in Jesus and want to follow Him. If yes, then we point out what the Word of
God says and try to compel them to repent, turn away, in the direction or
actions they are taking and start steps towards that Word. Ultimately, their argument is with God, not
you.
It is imperative that Christians love one another in this
way. There must be accountability again
in the Christian family, community, and church.
Otherwise, we do not love each other, and the world will not know we are
of disciples of Jesus.
By this everyone will know that you are My disciples, if you
love one another. – John 13:35
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